I really really just want to go out into the world. Travel the globe, explore unfamiliar lands, different ways of life, meet new people, and just breathe. But I’m barely securing my own financial independence and I’m already so tired with this. This few weeks i realized how pretentious most of my colleagues are due to work politics, and I try to take it in and stay neutral. I’m so sick of putting up smiles and spending energy in daily meaningless chatter when all I want to do is soar. It’s too late to back out though, so I guess I just have to think on the positive side. I miss having a special somebody who will listen to me and encourage me in a way like no other and still wouldn’t make me feel like I’m bothering them. Sometimes I get so tired with life I feel like my spirit is crumbling. I was totally fine the week before, but Sunday night hit me like a train-wreck, and I even went to fake a fever just to skip work on Monday, but then in comes Tuesday blues. It made me think all over again and I realize what a coward I’d been on Sunday night.